I got a bit lost recently. It happens. Me being me, I tend to over think and get a little retrospective of it all. So I am not sure where this one will go. I will write it as it comes out, but I need a place to start….

Right, I just spent one hour with my much better 7/8ths, cooking meals. We prepared ….

  • 4 Black Bean Burgers, ready to be re-heated, stuck into a wholewheat bun, with gherkin, onion, a slice of cheese, peppery salad leaves and a little mayonnaise. We cooked enough for two nights.
  • Homemade Granola with raisins and dried apricots, enough for a week
  • Walnut, Vanilla and Banana Cake for a bit of energy and loveliness. This is supposed to last a week …. but it won’t!
  • A 10 Hour Slow Cooked Leg of Lamb, with thyme and garlic was put in the oven.
  • 12 Mushroom, Cheese and Sundried Tomato Muffins were made which make for a great breakfast and/or snack.

All fresh, all healthy and all done within one hour. (If you want the recipes, send an email to content@okhane.com)

Now, I am sure many will read that and think “you sanctimonious t**t” …. and in the tradition of today’s favourite retort …. “you are entitled to your own opinion” which I think means “I’m not listening”. I will say that when I wrote it, I did not feel sanctimonious …. I just was thinking why is it we don’t do this?

…. and this is the tone I shall continue to write this in if you want to read on ….

One hour, dancing around the kitchen, listening to music, preparing meals together. Now, we don”t have kids, and I have seen and heard the stories the differences having rug rats makes to your lives. In general, the way most of these stories come across, we feel we may have dodged a bullet! The horror! Having said that, the time saved preparing meals like this does allow us a little more time to keep trying! 😉

I am as guilty as most of us for thinking “I’ll just relax in front of the TV for an hour or so” and probably do so most evenings. Then I “need” to check the various social media streams, comment, reply, hashtag etc. I’ll be honest; I know there are more productive ways of getting some proper healthy “rest”.

What am I trying to understand is, are we being honest with ourselves? Do we know that some of the choices we make are not good for us, physically and/or mentally?

If we genuinely don’t know, then there are massive failures in our systems in getting the right messages out there …. Pretty sure Okhane wants to help there BTW.

Our friends and friendships need to be strong and truthful enough to deal with the good and the not so good conversations.

We should be able to hear and listen to the truth and, once we have recovered from that, make different choices where necessary.

In my head, if I am offering a hand, a bit of help, a little advice, it’s because I give a damn because I care that that person makes the most of what they have for as long as possible.

Photo by Matt Collamer on Unsplash

But I get the feeling that many just don’t want to hear this crap, and if they do, they will get angry with me …. “bl**dy do-gooder” or “one of that healthy t**ts” or …. or …. or ….

So, do I offer help or not? Many would say, only help if it is asked for, which is great but so many justify their state/way of life/condition when they know in themselves it just ain’t good. So should we just leave them? Is it really “none of my business?” Is there someone? Why care?

And finally …. the most important question/statement …. Who the f**k am I to offer help? I have made many mistakes, lied to myself and others on occasion, given up from time to time, poured one two many, wasted so much …. some pretty good stuff as well!

In my head, I see myself as simply part of humanity …. which is defined as being:

1. Human beings collectively …. i.e. I am just one of many.

The second part is a little bit more than that, though:

2. The quality of being humane; benevolence.

e.g. “They were complimented for their standards of humanity and care”.

Synonyms: compassion, brotherly love, fellow feeling, humaneness, kindness, kind-heartedness, consideration, understanding, sympathy, tolerance, goodness, good-heartedness, gentleness, leniency, mercy, mercifulness, pity, tenderness, benevolence, charity, generosity, magnanimity

I like the sound of that …. that’s who I aim to be, what I want to be part of, why I strive to grow each day …. and if I offer to help its because of this, not because I am an arrogant, egotistical, sanctimonious arse …. although the arse is probably fair!

The long and short of it is I know I don’t have all the answers, I know that my way of life is no better than anyone else’s, I know that I don’t compare others’ way of life with mine …. and I certainly know I am no better than anyone else ….

…. but I do want to help.

Peace Y’all ….